Guidelines for the Aesthetically Impaired:

So, Zune will come in brown eh? Well, for those dumbasses at Microsoft who actually think that looks good, here are some helpful hints in picking the color scheme and overall look of Zune 2.0 (or any other electronics for that matter).

Design Guidelines For Dummies
1. 1. No electronics device should be colored brown, EVER. If it looks like horse excrement from the start and it turns out later that it sucks, then you have no one to blame but yourselves when the jokes appear on Leno.
2. Chartruce, peach and puce are also out of the question (the postscript “you morons” is understood)
3. In fact, if you come up with a color that a heterosexual male can’t pronounce, then it is out too.
4. Plaid is not allowed unless you are making devices for lumberjacks.
5. Paislies on electronics is a sin against nature and will result in an automatic beat down.
6. Polka dots aren’t allowed unless your main distributer is “The Dollar Store”.
7. Pin stripes are for suits, not computers.
8. Horizontal stripes on a shirt make you look fat, on an MP3 player they make you look retarded.
9. Clear plastic is no longer cool. Peole know that microchips power your device, not magic fairies that make everything work. Move on.
10. It isn’t a tricked out Honda Civic so it doesn’t need running lights.
11. It isn’the star ship Enterprise so it doesn’t need warp nacells either.
12. Unless it has guns, gun-metal gray probably should be left to the war ships.
13. Acceptable building materials include metals, rubbers and plastics. Note that wood is not on this list. (I know its obvious but look who were dealing with)
14. Candy Apple Red is a real color. Candy Apple Blue isn’t. (this goes for yellow, orange, etc.)
15. The iPod has a click wheel that actually moves. Don’t add in a fake wheel that doesn’t really do anything. It just looks stupid. [Side Note: Adding buttons that don’t work, levers that don’t pull, etc. is likewise stupid]
16. Please don’t make up a color. For instance, Zune is your product’s name, it also can’t be your product’s color. (“it’s an light shade of Zune” see how ridiculous that sounds?)
17. If your product comes in “green, blue and red/black” please try to control the urge to “sex up” the names by changing them to “forest glen, ocean wave and ebola vomit” as it will backfire horribly.
18. Oh yes, and, whatever you do, don’t use brown.

If you like this list please consider sending in your donations to the “Buy Microsoft a Sense of Style” campaign. We are currently accepting contributions and 100% of the proceeds will go towards this worthy and noble cause. Please help us prevent another “Brown Zune” from happening again. We beg you, think of the children.